Monday, October 4, 2010

Why Are Women So Critical Of Each Other? Understanding The Blogging World

TheFWord.Org: Women’s misogynist behaviour towards each other exposes something deep and dark within women’s relationships. Underneath the popular image of women being good at relationships lies a reality that blocks our ability to support, protect and fight for each other. Something is causing women to hate each other, to feel jealous of each other and to tear each other down. Something is teaching women to use the language and weapons of patriarchy against each other.
We need to understand this deep dark reality if women are to enjoy complete visibility and equality, because without it, we are in danger of sabotaging our progress with our own internalised misogyny. And that is essentially what I believe it is. The ‘bitchy’ adolescent female culture is well documented, but if we see that as a symptom of female adolescence, we are missing something vital. Our young girls are showing us what happens to women’s relationships in a culture where women are not equal or fully visible. These 400 delegates at the Fem 08 conference voiced what all women know; ‘bitchy’ behaviour is not the prerogative of young girls, it happens at all ages!
"I frequently see women react with thinly veiled jealousy when they see other women stepping up and claiming a level of entitlement they can only dream of. An entitlement they either don’t know how to, or don’t feel entitled to claim for themselves"
Jealousy is rife among girls and women. I frequently see women react with thinly veiled jealousy when they see other women stepping up and claiming a level of entitlement they can only dream of. An entitlement they either don’t know how to, or don’t feel entitled to claim for themselves. Female jealousy is a natural reaction to our collective experience of being invisible and starved for attention. Generations of being the uncared-for carers of everyone else, silencing ourselves so not to upset anyone and putting our needs last, has left women emotionally starved. It is hard to see other women feed themselves with attention, entitlement, self-worth and self-care when you are starving for that yourself. And when we don’t recognise how starved we really are, the reaction to criticise, to put down and to tell other women that they are behaving in an unacceptable manner makes sense at some level, even though it isn’t OK.
"Fear of not being liked, of being alone, of the consequences of escaping and standing up for your rights and life, are strong motivators that make women pull each other back down to where it is sad but safe and familiar."
For women to flourish, we need to band together. We need to re-create the sense of female connection we once had during biblical days around the village well and in the Red Tent where women gathered, shared stories, supported each other, and passed on their female wisdom. I am not suggesting that things were great for women then, but I am saying that we have lost that essential sense of community that women had then. The saying “together we stand, divided we fall” is true. Together we are a force to be reckoned with. Divided and alone makes it harder to stand up and say “no”. I hear over and over how hungry women are for empowering, supportive and nurturing female connection and community. We need to recognise and unlearn our internalised misogyny so that we can thrive and save this ailing world.


  1. I very respectfully disagree with the idea of women sticking together, or sticking up for each other just because they're women.

    I support Kate because I believe she is the best one to parent the children. She has shown strength and determination, not to mention great morals. Jon has displayedf selfishness and proven himself to be fickle.

    I judge them by their actions, not gender.

    It's offensive to all women of integrity to expect us to stand up for anyone, just because they happen to be female.

  2. I wanted to have an interesting topic to discuss. Please note that this is an opinion of a blogger and does not represnt anyone on this blog.

  3. I totally agree with that blog. In general, women are much more forgiving of men than other women. So many times when I have chatted with a friend who's boyfriend or husband has cheated on her, she excuses her cheating lover and blames the other woman. I see women sabatoge each other at work in ways that I generally don't see men do.

    We see this at work with the Kate/Jon situation on the part of many woman. Jon is known to smoke around the kids and nothing is said. Kate is suspected of smoking around the kids and she is vilified everywhere. Jon says he despises Kate on television and gets the equivalent of wrist slap by many women. Kate alludes to issues with Jon and she is verbally cruicified.

  4. We're all wired differently and get disappointed when someone doesn't meet our expectations. We don't all fit into the same mold.

    If we examine ourselves and recognize our own shortcomings, we might go a little easier on each other.

  5. PAR--Very well said. I have seen women sabotage and try to destroy other women with character assassination and every possible thing they could think of and they got away with it. That case was partly motivated by greed. Since that kind of behavior is not my way, I was shocked that it happened--and is still happening-now to men, I know of two cases.
    The more they get away with it, the more powerful they feel. Sooner or later, Karma is gonna show up.

  6. Misogynistic behaviour between women is a symptom of oppression. Often oppressed groups conduct lateral violence. Lateral violence is when we turn on someone along the same hierarchy as us. Instead of supporting and protecting women, society sees women as the lesser gender. Often in developing countries this oppression is unspoken and rears its head amongst the group being oppressed. Why didn’t Hilary Clinton get in as president? Why were people more worried about Sarah Palin’s outfit and hair than Obama’s ability to parent and run the country? Double standards are a common sign of oppression.

    Society oppresses women in all countries. Some countries experience oppression through violence and others through stereo-types of gender roles or body image. We see this through the comments that it was okay for Jon to move away from his family and take care of himself, but Kate wasn’t allowed to do DWTS, even though Jon was watching the kids why she was gone. Kate is not allowed to exercise, dress well, and make a name for her, but Jon is allowed to smoke, take is kids to the arcade, and openly date in front of them. Yes there are complaints about both parents, but notice where the numbers are.

    I agree that we need to support each other and begin to change the tides of oppression. We need to see the misogynistic reaction of other women as a fear response. Unification of women is very threatening to men and will be challenged until the change is so great, that it cannot be denied.

  7. Obviously, typing early in the morning is not my strong point. Half the letters I needed to finish words are missing. LOL

  8. Good morning everyone! I loved all of your comments. Fascinated, don't even worry about it, I get made fun of all the time for my missing words and poor grammar.

    I'm really glad I chose this topic, as I normally don't go out of the headline niche. But I felt that this was topic was something that bothered me for a while and that sharing it here is relative enough to the support of Kate Gosselin and other strong women that we see on reality TV.

  9. Schmeky~ I'm sorry but I'm not going to stir the pot today by bringing up Ellen. Although everyone may have a different opinion about that one, I would like to start my fresh paper on a more positive path.

  10. Sorry Baby Mama, I was just using an example people here are familiar with. I will never use that name again here. ;)

    My point was that there are some women that people will not agree with, support and will bash because they do not agree with what they stand for or what they do. I don't think it's because they are jealous of said woman, whoever it may be.

  11. Good info here, I don't think the writer was stating that we all inclusively stick up for women irregardless of their conduct. Obviously, we would not support a woman who was a murderer or pedophile.

    However, I agree in matters of women being treated with respect and equality in this world...there is indeed a NEED for them to stick together!

    Most of the truly vicious Kate haters appear to be women. And this is where I see exactly what this blogger is speaking about. Most of these hateful folks would be happy if Kate was still running around in her sweat pants, hair all amiss and living cramped at the old house, and back at working 12 hour shifts as a nurse.

    But because Kate has gone beyond their lowly epectations in life, she is a celebrity, a glamorous looking gal with gigs on the View, the Emmy, Entertainment Tonight, DWTS, and even a new show just for her (Twist of Kate)...she is scorned and trashed beyond belief.

    The "she has put herself out there" line now becomes the forum for personal miniscule surveilance of every thing she does, every part of her body...every cell of her be attacked, villified and demeaned with all manner of ugly, nasty verbage.

    The very women who should support this working , single mother of eight have now joined in a mob mentality of ignorance, innuendo, rumor and lies to tar and feather her and hopefully in their sordid thinking cause her demise.

    These women hide in anonymous cubicles or backrooms behind secretive cumputer screens and spew their venom non stop against someone they really don't know.

    Were they to personally meet Kate as many celebrities have now...they would probably be shocked to discover what a nice woman she actually is. Everyone who has worked with Kate has nothing but nice things to say about her. It's only those "inside sources" or "anonymous contributors" that always have the lowdown dirt on Kate.

    And yes, ...this is for Smeckygirl...there is a difference in how these same women view and treat Jon. He gets an enormous amount of grace, forbearance and forgiveness for all the crap he has done. There are alway extenuating circumstances or a excuse, reason or something beyond his control....or yes, it was even Kate's fault...for all the mess he does.

  12. Very Interesting topic BM! Apple Pie is yummy ;)

    It has always been shocking to me how it is a woman's nature to be nurturing and compassionate and how her instinct is to always take care of others yet this same beautiful person can turn around and be so cold and vicious to one of her own. Sadly, this has been my experience (for the most part) in life and so I have always had more male friends than female. Like Corrina, that is the furthest thing from who I am. I am the one who is always there for my friends and will go to the ends of the earth to help them and be there for them when they need me. Needless to say, I never saw the same in return which is why it was easier to hang out with boys. At least you can take them at face value when they say or act a certain way towards you.

    My mom also went through the same things when she was a young mother and had a group of female friends that were all SAHM's in the same building. They all talked behind each other's backs except my mom and one other lady and eventually the nasties in the group spread rumours about everyone made it so that everyone was mad at each other. Why, I don't know! What was the motivator? Jealousy? Knowing that some women were more well liked than others in the group? It was like they wanted to take those women down for being good and well liked. It just totally turns me off. That is why as an adult, I now prefer to be on my own and do things by myself rather than have a group of women to depend on. Funniest thing is that my closest female friends I have are online friends. I was a member of another online group that met when we were all trying to have babies and even after our goals were accomplished we had such a bond that we couldn't break away from each other and moved to our own private Yahoo group and we chat on a daily basis and have been best of friends for the last 6 years!! I am really proud of that becuase it is a supreme accomplishment to maintain that level of friendships with people you haven't even met. Sadly though, I wonder if we were friends in real life, would we have the same bond? Would we get on each other's nerves? I would hate to think so but you never do know.


  13. ...cont. from above

    When it comes to the present generation, I see the same sad things with my own daughter and her friends. The stuff she comes home and says to me at 10 years old is really unbelievable. They are so catty with one another and on a daily basis they hate each other and love each other all in the same breath. They constantly seem to try and trip each other up and have a laugh at the day's victim's expense and it's really sad to see. It's sad and it's telling all at the same time. It starts so young, even my 4 year old has issues. One day she came home crying because her very favourite girlfriend in the class told her she didn't want to be her friend because she didn't have her hair braided in two pigtails that day. She was so upset and I had to do my best to make her feel better without putting the other girl down too much because I don't want to encourage the sentiment in her that if someone is a bitch to you, then you should be one right back to them. Unfortunately, I don't know if other parents think this way and so I have to wonder, are our young kids "mean girls" because it is just in their nature to be or is it learned from the environment around them? I think it is mostly environment and conditioning. I truly believe this is what a lot of girls observe around them and so they in turn act the same way toward other females. I don't know if it is a coincidence or my influence all these years, but my older daughter hates the drama that goes on with the girls and so she's always playing with the boys. She says that the girls are always picking on each other and the boys don't care about that stuff and want to just have fun and she thinks recess is too short to be miserable with the girls. LOL gotta love 10 year olds! If my 4 year old turns out the same way, then I'll know it is conditioning and environment because I will see the pattern in place. My mom who hated cattiness and stayed away from it must have instilled it in me because I have no tolerance for it and in turn stay away from those situations now as an adult. My daughter who must get those lessons from me has no tolerance for it at her age and chooses a different path as well. As well, none of us are catty and mean towards other women either so I would like to think that women are not just natural meanies but are conditioned to be that way by our environments.

    At the end of the day, I think it is sad that women can't get along with each other and take care of each other the way they take care of their kids and families. However, I do agree with Miss Elainius when she said that she does not think you should back someone up and be friends with them based on gender alone. In my opinion, I think it is right to befriend a person based on what qualities of friendship they offer you and not what gender they happen to be. That said, it would still be nice if women didn't go out of their way to be mean to each other. They should try to have each other's backs like men do. If you notice, most men don't sit around making fun of each other for not dressing a certain way or for being fat or whatever. They just care about having a good time and to heck with the rest. Most women are so busy just sizing each other up and judging each other for everything under the sun. That's the way I see it anyway!

  14. SG...What a Jon bubble you live in. Jon has always supported the kids filming...he agreed this last go around. There are numerous interviews where he agreed with Kate that the filming was NOT harmful.

    Only reason he now twitters about keeping the kids private is to garner the "hate Kate for letting them film" group's support.

    How do you think he has been paying his rent? From money he has received from TLC for the past year's special of Kate Plus 8.

    Give me a break with your "Jon trying to give them a private life off television" idea. He tweets every time he has them...he tweets what he feeds them...he tweets what he and galpal do with them...and some how Chris the pap is always there to snap the pics when Jon has the kids.

  15. Shmecky, your dislike of Kate is so extreme, it's almost comical. If she were to discover the cure for cancer, I think you'd point out that she hadn't cured heart disease. The woman just can't win with you.

    I don't know if you have children, but Kate has eight. She has always expressed her desire to be a stay at home mom and misses her kids like crazy when she has to be away from them.

    So, in the world of Shmecky, how is this single mom supposed to support her children? She has been willing to do just about anything in order to create some financial security. Do you think she really enjoyed having to spoof herself at the Emmy's? Embarrass herself on dwts? Deal with all the negative and catty remarks that are made about her almost daily in the media? She has proven that she puts the kids first, and the TLC show is the only viable way for her to be with her kids and support them at the same time. What is so wrong with the kids being filmed with their mom? Since you don't like anything Kate does, perhaps you can tell us in Shmecky-speak just how you think Kate can stay home with her kids and still bring in enough money to support them.

    I'm sorry if it seems like I'm picking on you. In spite of your extreme opinions, I like your posts. You push me out of my comfort zone and help me see things from another perspective.

  16. Oh, Shmecky!

    I bet if you really put your mind to it you could write a very nice post about Kate's virtues. Why not give it a try? You can't possibly be as negative as you appear.

    Please? Can you tell us some of the things you admire about Kate?

  17. What if Kate really does do what is in the best interest of her children? What if she really does know more about protecting and rearing her children than strangers do? What if she wants to stay at home but since she cannot, she has found something that makes her happy while working? What if she really is fun and nurturing and misunderstood by outsiders? How do people know she’s self-centered? Is there actual proof or just opinion? Since we don’t know why the children were filmed again, perhaps it was because both Jon and Kate readily agreed to it. How do we know that Jon didn’t blow all of the money he received from the divorce settlement? How do we know that he isn’t trying to get more money from TLC? What has he really done to show that he honestly puts his children’s needs and wants before his own?

    This is a fun approach, Schmecky. ;o) And yes, I’m just being facetious about the questions.

  18. This is a kate fan site. I have not read all the posts, but anyone attacking Kate in any way. Will be removed. Thanks in advance

  19. And I want to add from now on, any post regarding the kids being filmed as being a bad thing for the kids will also be removed. I'm sorry but I'm kind of done with that. And since I WANT the kids to be filmed, I'm not going to have that brought up either.

    Thanks, and I will be in and out today making sure we are all playing nice :)

  20. I agree, that women hold women to a higher standard than men. We never hear stories about Steve Nield taking advantage of Kate's loneliness kinds of stories, but if the man has an affair he should be forgiven. Remember Regis wanting Kate to forgive Jon. Women are just supposed to take care of their kids on autopilot, if the man goes above and beyond and does something like serve a nutritious meal and clean up after it, gates of heaven open.
    Having said that, I think Kate is held to an even higher standard than anyone else, except maybe President Obama who also can do no right. The difference being that Kate's just a mom who does a tv show that people are perfectly able to not watch and the president was voted in to do a job that lends him to criticism. I just know that there are hundreds of thousands of moms who warrant more criticism than Kate based on their choices to do things like drugs.

  21. Tashapork,
    I agree. It's almost comical how different the standards are for not only women in general but especially Kate Gosselin! Funny because people say she put herself out there or whatever, but really? Not for all of the garbage she gets.

  22. Ali said...

    What if Kate really does do what is in the best interest of her children? What if she really does know more about protecting and rearing her children than strangers do? What if she wants to stay at home but since she cannot, she has found something that makes her happy while working? What if she really is fun and nurturing and misunderstood by outsiders? How do people know she’s self-centered? Is there actual proof or just opinion? Since we don’t know why the children were filmed again, perhaps it was because both Jon and Kate readily agreed to it. How do we know that Jon didn’t blow all of the money he received from the divorce settlement? How do we know that he isn’t trying to get more money from TLC? What has he really done to show that he honestly puts his children’s needs and wants before his own?

    October 5, 2010 2:34 PM

    i think these are great questions...ones i wish every *hater* would honestly ask themselves and look into their own heart and mind (not those of the bloggers) to find the answer.

  23. Kate has finally come out of hiding (or so they say), and since Chris sleeps in his car to get any shot of the Gosselins, he has Kate going to the dry cleaners yesterday. Keep in mind I am only posting it becuse it is not coming from the INF web site. Those nasty people will not get a single hit from me. They are seriously trying to be the only people that gets shots of them so they can sell them for $$. And even Celebrity Gossip is a bit snarky, so I'm not happy about promoting them either but whatever.

  24. BabyMama...You go girl! this is the type of moderation that I do so appreciate here. I'mj not a Kate worshiper by any means. She makes some choices I don't always agree with...but I do so admire her. And I feel she has had to endure so much unjustified criticism!

    So thank you for keeping this a place that Kate would feel safe in reading!

  25. Things will be changing A LOT here and I appreciate the fact that everyone is being so patient while I figure it all out.

    Ok so as you can see I am back on the radio this Thursday! Apparently once again I am being shifted a bit since it looks like Nina will be interviewing Michelle Duggar on October 28th. (Keep a listen for that one lol). And since Nina is still working on her guest list, I am offically back on for this Thursday! See what an easy going person I am! lol

    Please feel free to call the number I printed abvoe and call me live. The support would so greatly be appreciated. I must stress that Kate will NOT be on. This slot was saved for her several months back when she was supposed to have a new show to promote. I am now in her place! So even just calling in to say hi at 1-877-864-4869 between 10-11am would be so appreciated! I will have several places on this site with link info to listen. Thanks again! And lets get this site back to being the best, number one Kate Gosselin Fan Site on the web!

  26. Baby Mama--Well this is great news! I don't know how you find the time to do all that you do. You are to be commended on your unwavering support of Kate.

  27. Thank you Corrina, I honestly don't know how I do it either. Right now my head is about to explode. But we shall see!

    I'm thinking since Kate was at the dry cleaners that she was SOMEWHERE. It's a;ways great to see when she sneaks out. I will talk a bit about that on the show. Among other things.

    Any ideas would be so greatly appreciated!

  28. BM, I am SO happy for you! You are the number one Kate supporter and it's exciting to have you represent the fans on the show.

    Wouldn't it be great if Kate called in or made a surprise appearance?!

    You will be fabulous and I know you have quite a few fans of your own. I'm wishing you the best!

  29. Quick dash through. Hope to be back soon. There are a few family health issues yet to resolve but taking the right steps.
    Baby Mama congrats so much on your radio interview. I'm sure you'll do great!!!

    We're all proud of you. The interview is in the middle of a scheduled doctors appointment time but if they keep us waiting, I'll be outside on the phone calling in.

  30. I seem to remember several times that Kate's blog has been quiet for at least a month.
    Given the hype that tv shows do for "last" or "final" seasons, I think the rags reporting the demise of Kate+8 for the zillionth time is probably way premature. It is contract time, change time, and it feels more like just a break from the specials. Particularly since Kate seems to be the lead in for every new TLC show. What do you think?
    Does everybody else notice that every week we see Kate pick up her dry cleaning, go to Target, and go to the grocery store or whole foods store, and do a school bus run. Best I can say about that is that pretty much everybody does that and it does take the heat off the weekly reporting of Angelina-Brad split

  31. Baby Mama said...

    This is a kate fan site. I have not read all the posts, but anyone attacking Kate in any way. Will be removed. Thanks in advance
    October 5, 2010 2:42 PM
    Baby Mama said...

    And I want to add from now on, any post regarding the kids being filmed as being a bad thing for the kids will also be removed. I'm sorry but I'm kind of done with that. And since I WANT the kids to be filmed, I'm not going to have that brought up either.

    Thanks, and I will be in and out today making sure we are all playing nice :)
    October 5, 2010 2:45 PM

    thrilled to see these two posts!

    Miss Elainius said...

    I am shocked and very disappointed to find so many of Shmecky's posts deleted today. I think it's a big mistake to give into a couple of whiny people and muzzle one of your brightest posters.

    I read the posts. She is smart, funny and speaks her mind while still being very respectful. BM, this is your blog and you have to run it the way you believe is best. If you give into those who are not willing or able to deal with someone as mild as Shmecky, you might as well start passing out graham crackers and milk. Please don't dumb-down this site to that degree. It will be your loss if she gets tired of posting here.
    October 5, 2010 9:00 PM

    i think it's a smart decision. not to delete ALL sg's posts but the ones that are not what this site about? oh yeah!

    i in no way think it will a loss...i was surprised to see sg posting here so much when i first started reading as i recognized the name from so many hate sites. and i also realized that there was a lot of *carry-over* from this site to others.

    i read about the relationship between bm and sg and i appreciate that...i just think that with such extreme differences of opinion on this particular subject it is awkward here when there is tension between the posters and not comraderie.

    btw i have never asked bm to keep sg from posting here...i wonder why you automatically think that is the reason? maybe it's just that the negativity towards kate was wearing thin on sometimes does on me!

    i also don't know why anyone who supports kate (notice i did not say loves kate) would enjoy reading some of the things HERE that you can read at hate sites?


  32. One idea to address on the show is the positve aspects of Kate's decision for the kids to film such as the opportunities open to them, how much they enjoy it and are obviously very proud of it, and, and all they are learning through the process. Alot of people only hear the negative sides and a positive view might be nice. If it is eastern time, I might be able to call in. I am soo happy that you have decided to adopt this view towards the filming, there are soo many other places to argue the cons.

  33. Well, I have so many thoughts on what I would want to ask Kate. But since she won't be there or on the phone can these issues be answered?

    I would definitely like to know what her future plans and goals are?

    An update on why she is no longer posting weekly blogs?

    The official word from Kate as to what happened to the dogs?

    Any info on how the kids are all liking school since all 8 go now?

    Does she see any Type A personality in her kids?

    Details on how she plans to meet someone new...she always has Steve on her tail?

    Of course, there are so many way too personal things I guess we would all want to know...but I hope those are not too tacky?

    Will try to get on and support you!!!!

  34. ya know what i'd like to suggest or talk to kate about? i'd want to let her know that one of the things i'd love to see them do are more along the lines of the old show...ya know just the daily things going on.

    what the kids enjoy in the evenings after homework and supper. watch them put on a play or play games...special things too but it seemed like on k+8 we missed so much of the everyday with the kids.

  35. Kimmie...I agree...SG was getting on my nerves because she was always...always... critical of Kate. I don't mind pointing out something of significance that Kate has erred on...but most of it was snarky stuff and she was over the top lenient toward the ex Jon. And it inevitably brought out the worst in me as I do get defensive for Kate. I can see that this is not a good thing to be happening here.

    I don't consider myself to be a whiny person and I have never requested SG's posts to be removed. I did not particularly find her humorous in her posts about Kate. Not being a Kate supporter was evident in everything said here by SG. She made thoughts that I just could not let stand in good conscience and fairness to Kate.

    This is a fan site. There needs to be a tone of positivity here for Kate and the kids.

  36. Okay I am going to try to post again...been getting that darn 503 error all day.

    I love this post because I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Another blog I follow did a post about it and it got me thinking how much it applied to Kate. It was titled You either Rock or you Suck. The post was all about how you can never please people. It so applied to everything. People either love Kate or hate her. There doesn't seem to be a between. But women have seemed to have lost a sense of community or at least they have in my area. One of the reasons I love coming to this blog is the sense of togetherness. We disagree but still are friendly afterward. I think it's why I get so annoyed when they call us sheeple. I in no way blindly follow Kate. I just don't care if she's perfect and the fact that she has flaws I think is what draws me to her. Never does it ever cross my mind that just because Kate says something it automatically makes it true. Honestly, I don't care! It's a tv show and a family that I think is great and it provides me entertainment to come on here a discuss it with y'all. I don't live and breathe the Gosselins. I live and breathe my family. The Gosselins are what provides me entertainment with my family. My girls love the Gosselins. They have since the beginning, before the paparazzi invaded their life. That what drew me to the show in the first place. My daughter. She loved the show and it was a way for me to spend time with her. What is pathetic is the women that make it their life to vilify Kate Gosselin. Why can't they put the effort into saving children that really need to be saved? If the Gosselin children ever seemed to want for anything I could see their point. They don't. They are basing all their actions on the assumptions that the kids are being damaged. No one knows that and won't know that unless they can tell the future.

  37. FiredUp4Kate~ Kate is scheduled to come back for another interview as soon as she starts doing promotions for her new show. She did a really great interview with Nina this past July 8th. Nina is trying to get it back again on her site for people to listen to again. Kate was really happy ot speak to the women that gave her the first "custom" tee that Kate wore several times on her show. She answered everything and was great on the interview.

    So your questions would be great to pass on to Nina or myself to give to Nina. So hopefully they can be asked. They are really good ones!

  38. Well I just got here and I don't know what everyone's upset with SG about, it seems like her posts have been deleted so I guess I'll never know.

    Kimmie, a lot of people would love for Kate + 8 to go back to its roots; that's the show we all fell in love with. Unfortunately the sponsors got a hold of it and it's nothing more than an info-mercial now. There's no going back. IMO nothing beats the good ol' Jon & Kate + 8 !!

  39. Kimmie - I too would love to see just the day to day stuff. I think Kate had great ideas for activities, meals, and family time.

    CMO3 – somehow I always manager to totally agree with your blogs… : )

  40. CMO3, forgive me but you asked why they call us "sheeple." You said **The Gosselins are what provides me entertainment with my family**

    This is the crux of the whole thing. We get to live a normal, private life with our family while it seems the Gosselin's only mission in life is to entertain folks who have an empty half hour a week. I loved this show at one time but it feels different now. Does this make sense?

  41. Thanks fascinated right back atcha!

    And. Yay. Baby Mama. I just realised I forgot to say Congrats on here too! I have to work but I'll buy it from ITunes if I have too! So cool.

  42. Very well said CraftyMomof3!! I loved every point of your post. I too like that we can come here, have discussions with differing opinions and not resort to tacky name calling and insults etc. That shows the calibre of women here as compared to the hate sites.

  43. It does Lori Anne but I don't agree. It doesn't feel empty to me watching the kids still have fun and getting to do things they probably wouldn't be able to do otherwise and knowing by me watching I can help in a small way provide that.

  44. Baby Mama, I just have to say my head is spinning with all the changes in schedule of your radio appearance. lol

    So to confirm, you ARE on this Thursday the 7th of October? I trust I will find the links on your site. I am so excited for you! Hopefully you will get to be on in the future too when Kate is actually on to promote her show. I'll definitely be listening!

  45. CMO3, let's hope they really are having fun and not being poked and prodded into performing for the sponsors. As a mom of young kids that would really bother me. At this point I'm not 100% convinced.

  46. anothermom~ It's hard for me too. Iv'e been thrown around like a rag doll but that's ok. Yes it's this Thursday 10 am EST. The link will be on the top of my blog and down below. Would love for you to call in and say hi if you can!

  47. I only know what I see and that's what I base it on. It's not for me to say. They're not my kids. It's just a show I watch.

  48. Yes I 3 times I think..But the first 2 were the most fun and exciting. It was happening in Feb. right before the Jon bomb hit. I love reading how kooky I sounded and it was only last year!

  49. And I forgot to add.. I no longer put up my meetings and photos of me sadly. Because that's when the haters started to look into my personal info and attacking the photos of my children.

  50. Ahh that was a blast from the past! Back to when I think I was still a Lurker!

  51. Babymama, thanks for the links, the one thing I can't help but notice is that back then, as friendly as Kate was, compared to now, I saw a lot of stress in her face. Now, she looks soo much happier inside.
    I wanted to add that while the sponsors do add a bit of phoniness to the shows, what kids don't like playing with toys or going places. If it is in fun and done safely, it wont hurt them.

  52. OMG I hate looking at my old blah site! this week some time I'm going to fix up that sucker. People apparently are still reading it!

  53. All the people I spoke to on line didn't blog, didn't care, just loved the show and loved Kate. I felt like they were better untainted people because of it.

    i think that says it all...especially the last line. i know that sometimes all the hate drags me downa nd i have to go away...

  54. Just catching up again. Thanks Baby Mama for putting up those two old links. Please don't change them. Those were such special days when you shared so much from the heart. I loved those old posts. I enjoyed them at the time and I enjoy them still. We could care less about spelling. It's your expression that matters!

    So many of us have been through a lot. The folks that come for a while and those that go the long haul. Those that lurk for a long time before daring to make the first post and those that jump in from day one. (took me a looooonnngg time to say anything. Hard to believe now, right?)

    I enjoy the old shows but I enjoy the new shows in a different way. No, I do not feel Kate was perfect then or now. I feel that's part of her charm - she is herself.

    Thank you for this blog and for being you. Wake up time comes early here and I'm hoping hubby gets sleep tonight so I'll shut up. Goodnight all. It is a fan site and that's one reason it's special.

    I'll also say that

  55. I'll also say I'm glad that you are YOU Baby Mama.

  56. Okay, flyswatter used and cleaned up again. Sorry it was a little rusty but it still works.

  57. have to say one thing and I'm going to bed, it's 1am lol. When I fist met Kate, it was literally during that whole Deanna Hummel /Jon in bars with co-eds mess. It was right before that whole situation was about to explode, a mere days. So when you see the stress and sadness on her face in some of the photos, it's so clear to see how out of it she was at the time. It was truly like she was trying to take her mind off something but it was still on her mind.

    I really give her credit at that time for going out there and doing her thing. She got so much flack at the time for that book tour. I really feel that her last book would have done so much better if she did another tour. But the meadia and all the haters would have had a field day and rip her apart for taking more time off right after Dancing With The Stars. I think the book came out at a really bad time and I wish that whole situation would have been times better. Now it seems like a distant memory...

  58. If I could talk to Kate, some of my questions wouldn't be about the family per se. I'd like to ask her about the first book tour. It didn't cover but a few months in time, but so much has been made, or seemingly taken out of context about it.

    Seemingly that book tour covered but a few months. Once you sign a contract with a publisher and agree to a tour, you are legally bound to be there. No options for thoughts of "oh I don't think I want to do that this week." Even Jon states that Kate would come home, do laundry, cook and freeze the family's next meals, and then in about three days have to head out again. Doesn't sound like a "slacker" or "diva" to me. Sounds like a woman who realizes she has obligations to meet and tries to meet them head on.

    From the clips on the show during that time, Jon did have a helper nanny they hired during this period. Jon discussed going to work out each day. He discussed that he wasn't a cook but could "reheat" like a pro. I have a feeling that most SAHMs would love to be able to have those options. I'm not bashing Jon but it would appear that his unhappiness stemmed mostly from what? Loneliness? Boredom? We don't know. Just clips from what we saw and photos of Deanna sunbathing in the Gosselin's yard with Jon and friends. Then at the end of the book tour we have Jon's statement that he needed time to "do his thing" and we have the ski trip to Utah with Deanna (and others of Jon's friends.)

    There are many families where one of the spouses must travel for work. For the G's it wasn't forever but a limited period that covered about three months. Somehow if it were the man travelling on business whose wife then needed to pay for a group of her friends to go ski I don't think it would be received wonderfully.

    That period of time is what made the differences in their values and goals so obvious. It still appears to me that Kate looks long term at providing for the future while Jon appears more the live it up now. JMO.

  59. A book tour is physically and emotionally exhausting. I think a diva would have come home and expected to be pampered, not jumped into laundry and preparing the next meals to cover the time of the next week's tour. Does that sound like a diva to you? Not to me.

  60. LindaO...These last few entries show WHY you are such a valuable asset to this blog. Everything so well said and laid out without any hate or ugliness!

    Your thoughts made me remember again why I like Kate and want to support her. No woman should have to experience the awful demise of her family and then be crucified for picking up the pieces and trying her best to care for so many fragile little ones.

    Kate has some inner fortitude and strength many lack and she will always have my admiration for that.

    Thank you Linda for bring that back to mind so eloquently.

  61. FiredUp - you are welcome. I think sometimes folks think book tours are just glamorous. I remember Julia Child saying she had to ice her hand after them and that she learned eventually to do no more than one a week. Most publishers want them done 3-4 a week. Imagine talking to hundreds of people in a day. Kate sometimes had 600-800.

  62. B Mama..
    Unfortunately I won't be able to call in on Thursday:(

    The baby & I have a thing on Thursday mornings...wouldn't you know it! JML, I even tried to lure my mom for a visit so she could take her.

    Will they be taking reader e-mails? If so I'd love to send you a question & message of support!

  63. Did anybody see that silly article on Radar how trying soo hard not to be the Gosselins is what tore up the Mache's marriage. I am sorry but this business of blaming others doesn't fly with me. It is something I love about Kate she doesn't make excuses.
    I wonder if Kate will make a guest appearance on Dwts this season. Watching her last seaon actually got me to start liking it.
    You might discuss This unrealistic standard Kate is held to on your radio show

  64. New on Twitter saw that TLC had posted a new link for Kate Plus 8-Alexis and the Chickens. You can see the clip at TLC or on YouTube. (Sorry I can't copy & post the link.) It is adorable!

  65. Baby Mama – I love your posts about meeting Kate.

    Firedup4kate – Agree with all you said about LindaO and Kate.

    LindaO – So glad you are back.

  66. I wonder what the twins are going to do for their birthday, I hope TLC shows a special, mainly because it seems like the girls would really enjoy it. I hope we don't see any Jon shennanegans, but I expect to. I loved the little clip of Alexis and the chickens. She has gotten soooo big. I was watching the Carpio's show where they got the van and it reminded me of Kate's first special. I wonder if she got the tip of having the tall van to stand in from Kate.

  67. Baby Mama - Good Luck and Best Wishes for your radio interview tomorrow. I know you will do a great job in support of Kate.

    I finally came home to my own home yesterday, and slept in my own bed. Gone since Sept. 14 and it seemed like forever!LOL

    So many new posters and things here that I don't know what to say except that I miss SG and her point of view on things. Oh well, all good things must come to an end, sooner or later.

    Have a great evening Ladies!
    Hi to LO and C3PO, and all!

  68. Hi #1 good to hear from you!

    Love C3PO

  69. Crafty Mom of 3 - It is now time for me to check out your blog. I will need a hobby to keep me busy since I can't drive for awhile and with winter coming I will soon be going stir crazy LOL!

  70. Good time to check it out. Corrina has a guest post!

    How are you feeling?

  71. #1Caregiver- I'm so glad to hear that you are safe and home! Welcome back !

  72. #1Caregiver~ yes welcome back! I'm sorry I will not be on much tonight. I have to get ready for Girl Scouts tomorrow, plus I have the radio interview. I'm pretty excited/nervous. Stuff so off the cuff I have to remember to watch my potty mouth lol. Please everyone that is in just to say hi, and I will make sure for those that can't listen, that Nina has it up to listen to a repeat. I appreciate all your support!

    I was just thinking that the Twins are turning 10 the day after tomorrow! What do you think is happening now? Do you think Kate and Jon are fighting over who gets the kids on what day? Do you think the Twins still want a big party, or a big gift? I know this is normally around the time the girls ask for smaller parties and bigger gifts. Not my kids, they still want both!

    I am hearing that Chris Watts from INF has now moved into his Pontiac Sunbird, so he will be there when Kate comes in with all the gifts. That way he gets his exclusive shot that he will let no one touch. lol

  73. C3PO & LO - Well did get a good report from the pulmonary spec. that I no longer need Ox at home. Yippee!! The pneumonia is gone and just need to exercise and walk alot to get my muscles back. What a trip that simple 2 to 3 day surgery was. Just goes to show you that you never know what's around the corner for us. Need to live each day and enjoy it. PJ time for me since I can't dance.

    Night all!

  74. Night #1. Sorry you had to go through all that but sooo happy you are on the road to recovery. Sleep well.

    C3PO :)

  75. And good luck Baby Mama I am sorry I have to go to stupid work tomorrow so I can't listen or call in but I promise to listen to the repeat! GOOD LUCK!!!!! and have fun. :)

  76. #1-So glad to hear the pneumonia is gone and you're on the mend. We pray you get stronger every day!

  77. Best wishes for tomorrow Baby Mama!
    If you need quick craft projects for your Girl Scouts let me know.

  78. Could kimmie or someone please explain kimmie's posts? what is the bold text about?? Thanks!

  79. ahh all my well wishes #1CG. Take care.

    Baby Mama, I will be driving while you are on the air so I can't wait to hear the rerun. You will do great.

    I agree Tashapork, the whole blame game is just wrong. Take some ownership for the situation.

  80. For what it is worth, I really appreciated posts that gave me a different perspective of Jon. I think that being a Gosselin fan site it was great to remember that Jon is only human too. It brought a great balance to the site.

    However, I really didn't like the negativity towards Kate. To me, it discredited the different perspective of Jon.

  81. Welcome back #1 Caregiver. I think I missed most of what happened when you went but anyway, I'm sorry you went through a hard time there for a while but am happy to hear that you are getting better every day and that you "sound" in such great spirits!!

  82. Baby Mama, I'm really excited for your radio show tomorrow! I'll be sending you good vibes and hopefully will try to get through and say hi. I have to admit the thought of calling in makes me nervous though. Wouldn't want to sound like a stammering idiot. lol I am sure you will do great though!!

  83. another mom..
    If I could call in I would..but I'd be a stammering idiot for sure!

    Do people plan on using their nics or real names..I'm wondering how that works.

    It would be fun to put a voice to the nics.

    I bet Baby Mama does great though!

  84. haha momsby,

    so true! To think I used to be a good public speaker as a kid! Now, I just run the other way from stuff like that.

    I was also thinking it would be great to hear all the voices behind our opinions. This may sound dumb, but I can almost hear a voice for each of you guys when reading the posts and it would be so cool to know if anyone sounds like I thought! lol

  85. I was thinking the same thing about the voices, especially because I often scroll from the bottom to catch what I missed when reading and can frequently tell who is saying what before I even see their names sometimes. I am setting the alarm 30 minutes early since we are out west and I hope I have the nerve to call.

  86. Fyi since I can't call I have a deep voice. Think Kirsty Alley or Demi Moore. Did you expect that? LOL. I love this conversation!

  87. Congrats! I will try to call. Btw BM twittering has been really fun! I joined after I met Tori Spelling at her book singing and her and Mehran convinced me to get on there :)
    How could I refuse a request like that?

  88. #1 Caregiver--So sorry for your ordeal and hope
    the recovery comes swiftly.

    Have a great interview, Baby Mama. Before the date got changed back to today, I agreed to go on a bike ride with my sisters and now I'll miss the live broadcast! :(

    So glad you're back Linda! I hope things work out for you to call in today.

    Demi-uhhh--CMO3--we really wish you didn't have to work today.

  89. Our family has many doctors appointments today that were scheduled unfortunately before Baby Mama's radio appearance. She will be busy this morning so I will try to keep an eye on the blog while in waiting rooms and in the car.

    I can't wait to hear the broadcast at a later time. It would be fun to hear voices to go with names. Although we sometimes hear what we expect, lol. My southern relatives often say, "oh my, you've become so Yankee in your speech." My New York relatives and friends say, "you are so southern that every word has honey." My California friends ask if I'm originally from Chicago. My hubby is originally from the Midwest so to me, I've picked up many of his speech patterns. So, just label my voice whatever you want it to be.

  90. GOOD MORNING EVERYONE! Who is gonna listen to me on the radio soon! I put up an easy quick link above. Wish me luck!

    FYI: This Saturday The Ronald McDonald House will FINALLY be raffling off Kate's Scooter! Took long enough huh? lol to see the pic and get info on Saturdays auction including other fun items see below:

  91. Happy Birthday to Mady and Cara!
    I hope all their wishes come true and that their parents make it really special for them both.

    I love the old episode of the Utah trip when Jon got Cara up on the slopes. She is very athletic and I hope he encourages her in the sports that she chooses. Also, there was one with her roller blading. The girls can do alot with sports and their Dad or Mom too. They need this special attention.

  92. What does Error 404 mean? I can't sign out of blogger

  93. Hey everyone, I made it home on time and am so excited to hear the show. Don't know if I'm going to be able to call in now because I was dealing with some crappy school drama this morning and I don't know if I will be on the phone dealing with it. Such a pain! Anyway, I will be looking forward to hearing as many of you as possible and am listening and supporting Baby Mama as best I can here. lol

    So yes, this conversation about the voices is fun! CMO3, Demi is cool!! I wouldn'ta thunk it!

    Ok, baby mama is on! Gotta go. Be back later. :)

  94. LOL – I too have voices for everyone and then someone will reveal their age and I will have to adjust their voice.

    For some reason, I always sound sarcastic. I am sure my posts do too. I don’t know why this is, I try to put more emotion in my voice but it often makes it worse. Even my kids will say – where you being sarcastic. I respond – nooooo. : (

    LOL – if I called in Baby Mama might think I am a hater.

    I think it is starting - good luck Baby mama.

  95. Okay, I have to remove the Canadian accent I gave everyone. It completely slipped my attention that Baby Mama would have a New York accent. Nina also sounds like Kate Gosseln with a New York accent. My son said, is that Kate? So cool.

  96. Loving it so far - just had to say that! :)

  97. commercial - i can talk for a minute.

    fascinated - so funny about the canadian accent! I'm canadian too and totally forgot about different accents until Linda mentioned the southern drawl. I had everyone sounding canadian but with different voices and yes, the age thing is true too. When you find out different ages, you have to adjust. So funny, I thought I was the only one!

    ok, enjoy the show everyone it's back...

  98. ahh Firedup4Kate is on - I am guessing a southern accent. : )

    You sound great Baby Mama and Firedup.

  99. OMG, I can't believe I had the nerve to call in! I heard the last part of my call after I hung up and boy do I sound like a DORK! Yuck, I hate my phone voice. lol No matter, I'm glad I could support Deb especially after that fly that was buzzing around right before me! Ugh, I was hoping Nina had a fly swatter.

    Anyway, I just wanted to congratulate you Baby Mama, Deb, now I don't know what to call you. lol You were AWESOME!! A born natural, and I agree that the hour passed by way too quickly! I hope you will get to be on again real soon. Oh, and for the record, you handled that troll real well!!! I was so happy that you totally didn't let it phase you.

    It was also cool getting to hear some of the other ladies from here. I was most surprised by firedup4kate's voice. Not at all what I imagined but lovely accent. :)

    I am still bouncing off the walls. heehee

  100. BM,
    You did a great job, you really did. The hour went by very fast. It was entertaining to listen to, you think quick on your feet. In listening to some of their past shows, it was nearly painful to listen to, but today was completely different.

    You did very, very well deflecting the negative.

    The only point I have is, which I don't think was appropriate for the show, is the point regarding complaining about the paps following Kate and the kids, but then posting paps pics.
    In that, one can't have it both ways.

    Regarding the call asking if you had any education in, what was it? Child education or whatever it was.

    You do not nor have I ever seen you state yourself as anything other than a fan. The opinions you give are as a fan. One does not have to be a professional to be fan or to have a fan site. That question just showed the callers ignorance.

    Those who claim to be professionals who blog about Kate are being unprofessional as they know her only as we know her, not an ounce more. Without knowing her personally and having spent some time talking with her, they can't give any professional assessment.

    I think you did a good thing by cleaning up your blog as you state this is a fan site and it was becoming something other than that.

    Again, I want to congratulate you on a very, very good job today.

  101. Firedup and another mom, I thought you both did excellent as well. I think you both sounded very intelligent and made good points.

    As for sometimesafan, one could hear the snarkiness & snottiness in her voice.

    I tried going to their chat room but it was full of haters, so I quicly left.

  102. ZiggyFlo said...
    Regarding the call asking if you had any education in, what was it? Child education or whatever it was.

    You do not nor have I ever seen you state yourself as anything other than a fan. The opinions you give are as a fan. One does not have to be a professional to be fan or to have a fan site. That question just showed the callers ignorance.

    I totally agree! That call cracked me up, especially at how well Baby Mama handled it and didn't play into the caller's hand.

  103. It was soo nice to hear you this morning. I hope I can hear a repeat because I didn't hear the whole first part due to computer issues then I had to get ready. I feel exactly like another mom that I sounded soo dorky but I think she sounded wonderful just as she does on here. I loved how you came back at Becky.

  104. Thanks tashapork! To me, you sounded great too. I guess we all are not used to hearing our own voices played back to us. Funny that the "me" everyone else hears does not sound like the me I know at all. I wish I had more to contribute but with such a short time left to the show, I decided I had better not get going on anything. I really wanted to show Baby Mama support and glad I had the nerve to do it!

  105. Hello everyone! I'm going to be putting up some fresh paper in a bit, but want to thank everyone for today! I will talk more and thank more on my next post!

    But it was important for me to clarify something Ziggy mentioned (and thank you so much for writing in!) I didn't really get the chance to discuss.. my thoughts on photographs and the agressive paps because of the OBVIOUS buring desire for a few of the snarkers to call in.

    However re: the point of complaining about the paps following Kate and the kids, but then posting paps pics....Again, it's how it's handled verses whether or not we as fans of Kate want them at all. Sure I want photos of Kate Gosselin for my site. The reason I had all those target/running errands photos of Kate was because they were available on the web. If no one photographed her, I would just use stock photos. It makes no difference to me. It dosn't mean I'm not going to comment or be upset over agressive paps. It doesn't mean that because they are on my site that I approve of agressive pap pics. And where in the book of Kate Gosselin law does it state that just because I make a few random quotes of not liking paps does it mean in any way that I shouldn't have those types of photos on my site??

    I could go on and on. And it looks like I will! I was offically asked back for another show in November. So it looks like everyoneone will be able to once again ask me all the nagging questions people want to know! xoxoxox

  106. Congradulations on being asked back, I think it well deserved. Regardless of the issues I have, you did a great job, period.

  107. My comment I wrote in wasn't about the paps, it was about that Nina in essence portrayed that those who are fans of Kate are so because they look to her as a role model and/or mentor of sorts. IMO, I think most look up to her because they admire her as a strong woman in difficult/unusual circumstances who is taking what opportunities she has available to her to provide for her family and is doing so with class.
    I'm 57 years old, why would I look to someone younger as a role model? I felt that a bit unfair to Kate, although I fully understand it wasn't intended as that, as Kate has never portrayed herself as a role model.

  108. tiggerfan1965 said...

    Could kimmie or someone please explain kimmie's posts? what is the bold text about?? Thanks!
    October 6, 2010 9:34 PM

    just distinguishing between the post i quote and my comment/answer.

    otherwise it all runs together and i have a hard time reading the post and the significance.

  109. baby mama, is there a way to listen to the show? we are second/third-shift people and stay up late and sleep in! lol

  110. Yes! Everyone I put the link up for everyone to listen to the interview on the top right of my page. You will see all of her radio shows as well on the right side of her page.

    Thank you so much Ziggy and everyone. Please take your discussion of to the new page. The scent of the day is the fresh scent of "Baby Powder". My long scent of SUCCESS!